I like driving fast.

I like driving fast.

I never used to drive fast. Most people would say I'm sensible, cautious, and law-abiding. And that's true. It's just that since moving to Bungieville, I've noticed my driving speed increasing.

I should qualify those statements.

I like driving fast, like 60.

Yeah, I said 60. And that's kms, not mph.

I live in a town where the fastest speed limit is 50 km/h. But that doesn't mean that people drive at 50 km/h. No. They prefer to drive at 30 km/h. And we're not even talking PLAYGROUND zone! [Note to old men driving in front of me by my house: SCHOOL ZONE does not apply at 10:00 pm when it is pitch black.]

So I like to drive fast. er. Perhaps it's because I'm afraid of becoming a Bonnyville driver. You know the ones - they take a full three seconds to leave the intersection after the light turns green, just because they're in no hurry. After all, it only takes three minutes to drive clear across town.

A Bonnyville driver, as mentioned, drives about 20 km/h under the speed limit, just in case while driving down mainstreet (yes, there's only one), they might run into someone they know. And I mean literally. Sure, people jaywalk in Edmonton. All the time. But at least City Jaywalkers have the common sense to look both ways before breaking the law. Bonnyville Jaywalkers think they own the road, and the motorists respond accordingly.

Another reason they drive slowly is in case they hit a red light. You know, with only three intersections having lights in the whole town, it's a risk that's right up there with seeing Mabel, the town drunk with the toothless grin, flash you from the corner of Bonnyville Hotel and Brosseau's Department Store. And if you happen to be driving in Bonnyville, and you see a red light at the end of mainstreet, by all means, start slowing down three blocks away. You can never take enough time.

And while we're giving Driving Tips for Hicks, please remember to not put your signal light on before making a right turn from the inside lane.

If making a left turn, be sure the intersection is clear both ways for at least four blocks before proceeding. You can never be too cautious.


I like driving fast.

==

Glass slippers optional.

I'm going to a ball!

The ATA [Alberta Teachers' Association] in my area is holding a ball next Saturday, at which all new members will be "inducted". Should be interesting, just as long as no paddles, tar, or feathers are involved. Hey, for the amount of money I give them every paycheque, it had better be one heck of a shin-dig!

I was informed that the dress is "formal", and I am to bring an escort. I'm pretty sure I can scrounge up some ball-wear, I just need to visit my mom's secret stash. Of course, being Bonnyville, "formal" might mean you wear the Wrangler's with a bigger belt buckle, and clean under your fingernails. Better check on that before I show up in some passé promwear.

Since I don't drive Fords, I called up Cara to see if she wanted to accompany me on this venture. She was more than excited. I'm just pumped because it will be the first time one of my friends is visiting me in Bonnyville. Yay!

Guess that means I'll have to buy groceries....

==

Props to the Scots.

I miss my friends.

That thought just hit me. It's taken two months, but it finally crept up on me.

Loneliness.

I'm sure by tomorrow I'll be too busy again to notice it. I'm not even sure who I miss, really. It seems that a lot of the friendships I had while in E-Town were the low-maintenance type: we're friends because we do the same things and naturally end up seeing each other. You know: work friends, school friends, church friends. Now that I'm 50 million miles away [yeah, I said miles! only cause I'm a sucker for alliteration....] , it seems that no one calls or emails.

This is me letting my emotional, irrational side kick in. Perhaps it's because for once I have an evening where I'm not working, and I was hoping to talk to my wonderful friend Lilley. Lilley always has something insightful, funny, or brainy to say, and I enjoy listening. I sat down and called tonight, but had to speak to the "machine".

After days on end of having only kid-related conversations, or listening to "professional lamenting", I begin to realize I haven't had any "real" conversation, and I miss it. I'm living at head level, after learning only a short while ago how to get to my heart.

I'm afraid I'll forget the way down there.

I'm not blaming my friends. And truthfully, some of them are really good about keeping in touch. [SN - I love you - thank you! DC - I appreciate your encouragement. BB - I'm touched, as usual ...gumb.] I realize it goes both ways, and now that I don't see the people who were once part of my life, I need to work harder to keep them there.

After all, I believe it was the Scottish who said:

"Friends are lost by calling often and by calling seldom." :-)

==

October 17th.

I find that I've come to the end of my day (yes, it's only 7:50 pm), and yet I have nothing of note to write. Perhaps it's the sheer exhaustion, for there is plenty to write on from the weekend. It's just that usually at least one thing happens in my day that makes me go, "Hmmm". Either I'm really just so tired that my mind isn't functioning, or I went through my day too quickly to notice the details. That scares me.

September seemed to be the longest month of my life. When I realized it was October 17th today, I did a double take. Didn't we just start October??

I finally went back to the gym after missing a few days. Josie, the girl who works the front counter and has become my chatty work-out buddy (believe me, it makes the time go by so much quicker!), ummmm...wow....I can find no good way to make this into a decent sentence. So I'll start again, now that you know who Josie is.

I finally went back to the gym after missing a few days. Josie looked shocked to see me and made a louder-than-necessary fuss over how long it had been since I was there last. "How long was it?" Well, to my chagrin, she checked the login book, and it's been over three weeks. Yikes. That's what happens when you let life take over.

I haven't been sick at all since I started teaching, which is apparently like a world record feat that should be recorded in Ripley's Believe It Or Not. I guess first year teachers are supposed to get sick a lot. I credit it to making sleep a high priority (something I learned far too late in University), eating healthy food, and exercising. Somehow the balance of the three make life easier to take. I don't get as stressed, and when I do, I can take a step back and see life with some perspective. I've still got the sleep thing down, and the food is still good (no opportunities for death food in Bonnyville....), so I guess I just have to pick up the slack on the activity department.

Ugh. I don't know when I will be able to get back into a rhythm of writing on daily observations. I really don't like writing about these mundane details. Bear with me, and eventually the writing will come back.

I feel a little off today, and like I said, it's been a long day, and I just realized it's October 17th. Well, I knew that before, but I just realized it would be my grandmother's birthday today. Those of you who have known me for a few years know how her life was stolen from her and the profound effect it had on me personally. I think deep down maybe that's what's been getting to me today. It would have been her 80th birthday today. Wow. I still miss her so much. Quite often I think about things she would say in different situations - her humour, her wisdom, her way of doing things. So much has changed since the time she was taken. I feel like a different person. I'm in a new career, a new house, a new town, a new space mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I've grown.

It was after she died that I started writing daily. And if I look back in my journals from that time, I see how the course of my life has changed. Most importantly, I see how God's hand has been with me throughout it all. It was probably the hardest thing in my life to let go of her, and to come to grips that she was snatched away so quickly, yet it was through it that I came to know God in a personal way as never before. I had to lean on him. I was angry as hell at him, but I knew that without him, I would literally fall apart. Or perhaps I did fall apart, and he just showed me that it was okay not to have it all together. He has walked me through the valley of the shadow of death, and I know now that he will never leave me.

Yeah. Maybe that is what was bugging me today. This is why I love writing. I started out with nothing to say other than the surface level everyday stuff, but the longer I write, the deeper it gets. Maybe this will get the ball rolling again.

And I just feel I need to say, if anyone is walking through a difficult time right now, know that God is walking with you. He won't ever leave you. And it's okay to be mad at him. He can take it. Just make sure you tell him how you feel - it's the fact that you can turn to him and talk to him that makes the difference.

==

Meet the Parents

Tuesdays are marathon days for me. No, not because I'm training for one [don't ask me about my exercise habits the past two weeks....]. It's because Tuesday is the day I have a 7 o'clock am high school band rehearsal. SEVEN O'FREAKIN'CLOCK!!!!!! Who's stupid idea was that, anyway?! [Oh wait....] [You can tell how tired I am because I wrote "who's" instead of "whose". Misuse of apostrophe's is one of my biggest pet peeves. It's right up there with white socks and black pants, and putting the toilet paper roll on the wrong way. How petty am I?]

Tomorrow I have...wait for it.......

PARENT TEACHER INTERVIEWS!

Can you believe it? It's only the beginning of the year, right? Apparently, there's a notion that parents should know what's going on with their kids before the report cards come out, so they have a clue if Johnny is failing. Thus, I had to do an "interim report", which necessitated the learnage of this evil program called "students achieve", otherwise coined as "SA". I could think of more appropriate monikers for this monstrous migraine maker. Students' achieve sucks a..... Oh, dear. How can you tell I work with teenagers all day? :-)

In other news, I have entirely no spatial intelligence. Or math skills. Wait - that's not news to most of you. I was hanging pictures yesterday, and thought I was well prepared to have them come out looking half decent. After all, my arsenal included a steel measuring tape, pencil, picture hangers, hammer, calculator (to be on the safe side!), and stud-finder. [Oh, if only they had real life stud finders....'twould be extremely useful in Bugtussle....but I digress....] Yes, one would think I would be prepared. What more could one need to hang pictures?

Well.................a level.

I have this thing about symmetry. I like to hang pictures in groups of two, side by side. None of this staggered look in the Jacelyn J abode. However, to accomplish this, one must precisely calculate angles and lengths, and widths, etc, etc. For all of my belaboured calculations, my living room now contains one wall-sized custom-framed antique map that is 4 inches lower than it should be, one large square picture with an identically sized neighbour to the left, one inch lower, and one rectangle picture, with an identical twin hanging an inch higher than anticipated.

I used to laugh at those people who would be so anal retentive/OCD about measuring for hanging pictures. I used to roll my eyes when it would take a math degree and three hours to hang three pictures. But truth be told, as I sat down in the middle of the floor last night and looked at the pictures, I missed those people very much. You people, who frustrate, yet are fine picture hangers - know that you are missed! [And not just for your picture hanging skills.... ]

I'm almost ready to have company. I just need a couch. So there. Consider this an invitation for all to come and visit me in Bungieville. Maybe you can even help me straighten out my pictures without wrecking the walls!

==
P.S. Can you believe "migraine" is not in the spell chek? Who wrote this thing, anyway?!

I'm bach.

Oh, how I can dish out the groaners.....

Get ready, get ready, get ready! Today is my first night in my house [I know, how long did that take?!] and I just just got my adsl working. WOO HOO! I'm back on my own computer!

What does this mean for you, the regular, faithful reader? It means you shall be disappointed no longer. I will resume my regular postings now.