empty nest syndrome

I woke up this morning and felt very strange. It was a Sunday morning, and there was no sound in the house. And it wasn't the silent sound of a family sleeping.

It was an empty silence.

My neighbours from downstairs moved out yesterday, and today was the first morning without them in the house.

It was eerie.

I'm used to hearing when they get up, waiting to make sure no one else is in the shower before I turn on the dishwasher (ha!), and listening to the sounds of everyday morning breakfast and bustle.

Those who live by themselves might think it strange to think I would miss these sounds. Rachelle would always apologize for being "loud", but they really weren't that loud. Truth be told, I found their noise somewhat comforting. It meant I wasn't totally alone.

When I'd leave in the morning, I'd inevitably hear the downstairs door open a crack, and there would be sleepy little 3-year-old Olivia, pyjama-clad, bare-footed, dishevelled ringlets all over the place, standing squinty-eyed in the dark, peeking out and wanting to give me a hug before I left for the day.

"Go back to bed," I'd whisper.

Sometimes she'd smile that sleepy smile and say, "I'm going to go pray now."

Intrusion? Heck, no. She and Nathaniel helped me keep my sanity on more than one occasion.

I'm sure going to miss them....

==

Being open.

To all my bloggies out there: I must apologize for the cliffhanger - Wednesday straight after school, I left for Edmonton for Teachers' Convention, and didn't have a chance to update y'all.

So. I think this is actually going somewhere. Truth be told, Februrary 14th was not the first time we went out. [And definitely not the last!]

It's hard for me to articulate feelings while I am still working them out (those who know me, nod knowingly), so this may not be the most coherent of posts.

What can I say of this guy? He's everything I need, and nothing that I expected. Remember the time I posted my list of "Must Have / Can't Stand" traits I was looking for? [I later pulled it for being "too personal"] But I re-read that list the other day, and it just as well may have been a description of him.

He is a man of character in a world where emphasis is put on personality. Sure, he's funny, witty, smart and all that, but it's honesty, trust, integrity and the like that matters. From what I know, and what others speak of him, I could not ask for more in this side of things.

He challenges me in my faith, and my faith is still central in my life. Often times in other relationships I have been in, I'd find myself almost consumed with the person - my relationship with God would take a back burner. I was wrapped up in finding my needs met by another human, and that is a recipe for disaster. People will always let us down. This is different. I'm so excited to get to know him better, but that excitement is shared with God this time. And at the end of the day, I still hunger to spend time in God's presence. That's a good thing.

He cherishes me, and I feel safe and protected. You know how sometimes you're in a relationship and you know you're both in it for somewhat selfish reasons? This guy has demonstrated to me the concept of honouring another - and not in a fashion designed for manipulation and selfish ends. I actually feel safe with him. I feel protected - protected in that he knows my boundaries and shows himself committed to staying within them, even when I would want to move them around or throw them out the window. :-s It ties in with the integrity - he will do what he says he will do and he is a man who does not compromise his word.

And yes, I do know the value of being cautious as well, and I am. I am guarding my heart, seeking the perspective of those closest to me, and most importantly, I am actively being open to setting aside my emotions to hear God's voice in the matter.

I know this is pretty deep for a blog (sorry T!), but I feel like I want to be somewhat open with you who are a part of my life so you know that I haven't gone off the deep end and settled or compromised the things I have been waiting for for so long.

Who knew I'd find all these things wrapped up in Wranglers and plaid?

Don't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humour.

Re-try

Okay, so I now know the Blogger keyboard shortcut for "save". :-)

The jist of the post, hmm? Well, let's cut to the chase.

Miss J has a date for Valentine's day.

[Shock and awe rock Central Alberta and parts of the Middle East...]

Yes, she who traditionally dresses in all black and sports a permanent scowl at the mention of the over-commercialized, sappy, contrived, hope-you-at-least-get-chocolate-from-your-parents holdiday is actually going on a date.

"With whom?" the readers ask.

Good question. What the heck am I doing going out with someone in Boonieville? Believe me, it's a question that I've been asking myself every day for the past while..... For example, I completely agree with Sirina in her distaste for pick-up trucks. I agree that I am distinctly un-Albertan in that way. I hate country music, have never been to an auction, don't own any Wranglers, and have never driven a quad. [Um, until last week....and it was really fun. Shhh!]

But somehow, this guy has managed to wrangle his way beneath my protective Redneck Barrier. And no, it's not because I'm bored and lonely. He's a colleague of mine; extremely smart [APEGGA says he's the best around...], he's the right kind of funny, an accomplished guitarist, loves God, and is strong enough to handle me. [No, not in that way....get your minds out of the gutter!]

He just also happens to own some cows and a very large yard.

[Yep. He's a, um, er, well....he's a teacher, and he's a ...... farmer!]

I know. Is this the biggest joke in the world, or what?

Go ahead, take your jabs now. I'm donning my teflon suit as soon as I hit "publish". :-)

Sigh.

I just wrote a very long post, and alas, my computer froze and ate the post.

Damn computers.

I guess that's what I get for being awake before 6:00 am on a Saturday.

I tried to re-write it, but it just wasn't the same. More another time, perhaps......

I Survived!